Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
handjob tips. give me some.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
