How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
