somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
