I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
