They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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