Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You've changed since you got that strap on
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
