fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
