So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
