Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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