He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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