Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
