Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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