well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
