Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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