I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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