found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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