She's JV to your varsity
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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