Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
