I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
