my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
