Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
