Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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