I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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