They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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