Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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