Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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