u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
