I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
