Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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