is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
