eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
