there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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