marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
