Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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