there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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