i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
