I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
