dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize