I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
