No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Houston, we have a blender
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
