Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
