Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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