I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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