Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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