I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
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