I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Jerry, you need to find god
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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