think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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