I'm jealous of your bromance
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
