They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
do nipples grow back?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
