no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you will always have a special place in my vag
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
