i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
