I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
