I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
