I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
