It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
