worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize