I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
